I'm BACK to ME....a BETTER MAN

I have been not ME for a while. Im not schizophrenic.
I was full of life. A motivator. A dreamer. A winner.
Slowly FATE has taken me from my self.
I was losing my life. I secluded my self from people. I stopped dreaming and even stopped living. I became a loser.
A lot of things came together at the same time. Hard to bear.
I came to a point that I lost the JOY of living. I wanted not to wake up the next day. I don’t understand my feeling. I am not suicidal type of person but I started not to care about myself.
I was slowly broken into pieces. This is not me at all.
My health, my family, my relationship, my job, everything around me seems so challenging. I loved challenges before. But now I hate it. I used to say that it will either make us a BETTER person or a BITTER person. It made me a bitter person. I hate how I responded to it. But it’s the only time I became true to myself.
Im still here. Coz every time I choose to let go, people who loves me showed up. By all means they were there. They were all just strangers few years back. But in my deepest times, they were there for me. They offered acceptance when I felt rejected. They gave me love when I felt unloved. They offered me warm and caring arms. They became my family away from my biological family.
Yeah I found them just online. But they have extended more than a real hand in my times of need. They have thought me to love life back again. They are bringing back the dream in me. They are the people Im ready to die for. I’m here because you loved me.

FahaD, your will always be my bestfriend and I love you more than life bro. You have offered your family to be my family while away from home. That even silence became comfortable to us. There were bad times. But you were there. When you can't comfort me, you cried with me. Those times means so much to me. We are winners bro. I will always be here for you. WALANG IWANAN.
Ammar, bro we were not from same mother but Im 100% sure you are my brother. Your everyday messages in my guestbooks means a lot to me specially the one you posted today. Its the turning point of everything when u have reminded me of the same words I used to say to my students. Man, no words can say how much I love you and your family. You were there at the right time and at the right place. You pushed me 1000 times to be back to ME. Bro, few years from now you I will show you that you have not wasted a single minute of your time talking to me and pulling me up from my misery. Definitely, the first will not be the last time to meet you....See ya soon. This is for life bro.
Hassan. One word to describe u bro....AMAZING. We've never met and I have never seen your BABY M****** yet, but you were more than what the word FRIEND could describe. Bro, thanx for speaking the words that I NEED to hear, not just the words that I WANT to hear. I love to have u around and I love to disturb u(lol)....The talks we had I treasure so much. Ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from gettin' to u man. U are great.
Samantha, You are wonderful person. The short time we have known each other, I became so comfortable to share my life to you. And we share the same joys and pains of loving and being hurt. You showed me that this life can be as beautiful as it can be as we choose it. I love you sis. Will you be there lifetime for me? God bless you.

And Inshallah more and more to this list of wonderful people.

I love life back again. I know it will not be that easy.

I'm BACK to ME.....a BETTER MAN....a better person....a BESTFRIEND.